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The day your toilet paper runs out

All is well in Madras.

And then there was a problem. We almost ran out of toilet paper. No extra rolls in the bathroom cabinet. None saved for emergency. Zero. Zilch. Nada.

Let me remind you, we are in India, a country where toilet paper is not used for various reasons I won’t bother getting into. I used to bring two rolls of toilet paper whenever I visited because I didn’t quite like the quality of toilet paper that was available in India. But now, we have relocated to India.

Two rolls of toilet paper last only so long.

I needed to do something.

You can pretty much get everything on Amazon here in India, but quality of a product that is not commonly used can be questionable. Thank God for user reviews of toilet paper. You might think, there’s no such thing, but people write about everything these days. (Wink Wink!)

I’ve never bought toilet paper on the Internet before. I only see through the plastic, read the marketing nonsense, and decide what’s best suited for my backside. When you are shopping for toilet paper online however, reading the fine print is essential. Three-ply is better than two-ply. Expensive is usually nicer. The words, ‘Super Soft’ combined with pictures of bears or baby elephants can be comforting.

The reviews can be helpful in decision making as well. Thankfully, the reviews didn’t get into the user experience. For the Selpak brand I was considering, customers wrote that they were finally able to find toilet paper of quality similar to those available in the west. And so, I ordered a four-pack. Three hundred rupees. A dollar a roll is totally worth it, but two days for delivery? WTF? I get random things like curtain rods delivered the same day, but toilet paper delivery takes two days?

I’m bummed. Pun intended.

Verified Amazon Review: The rolls arrived. I’m very happy.

Published by Arun Muthu

In 2019, I relocated to India after having lived in California for more than two decades. These scribbles attempt to capture my observations at what I call home through a foreigner's eyes.

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